The hard stuff: Show it or hide it?

I got two emails today that stood out from the rest. Both written in response to having read my blog-utterings as of late. Both from women. Both in their 60's. The first to arrive was from my mother in Denmark, the second from a dear friend here in the States. What's curious is that they arrived within moments of each other. But had the exact opposite message.

The one from my mother was one of deep concern that I'd be so emotionally open and raw. In public. Shouldn't I be keeping this kind of intimate information private and only share with a trusted friend or two. Might it not be used against me?

The other one, from a dear teacher friend, was encouraging me,  'I feel so appreciative to have a friend who wanders deeper into her life, and shares it...' she said.

It made me think for a while today about what we find appropriate to share; with whom and how. I have been getting a lot of reactions in the last weeks; and aside from my mother they have been mostly to the effect of, wow, you are just like me, we have parallel lives, we should get together soon, call me, I'm here. I know how you feel.

But one other friend, did just tell me, that she'd like to share more but then 'people will know I am not perfect.' Wow. Is anyone perfect? Do any of us really think that the others have it all together and if we do think that, how does that make us feel? Inadequate? Small? Lacking?

I have been in enough sharing groups to know that everyone is hurting about something. The lucky ones are able to transform the hurt into empathy and love and wisdom but everyone is hurting about something. If we all knew just a little more about each other's pain we'd be busy hugging and loving each other all day long.

At a recent coaching training in L.A. one of the trainers said, 'people, owning your shadow is the new sexy!" Ok, let's not get trendy about it but I get it and I think many of us are weary of the old school way of hiding it, and stuffing it and hoping that no one knows how uncool we are. How insecure we are. How much we just want to be loved and accepted by each other. How much we fear rejection and being alone.

I know I am pushing the boundaries of my own culture and the family line with my openness. Maybe I am even risking repercussions in court this summer. Maybe my ex or his team of two power attorneys will find my blog and say, See! She's all weak and feeble and unfit.

The truth is I have never felt stronger and more okay. Sad and small sometimes, you beat, but mostly okay with myself being human and even more okay with the never-ending supply of Divine Light and grace that pours over me and each of us when we scream for help, and often it happens through our dear friends.

Aren't we just here to help and love each other every step of the way on this earth. When I am in the pits my friends will remind me of love, and when my friends are in the pits, I will remind them of love. We just slip into darkness sometimes and forget about love.

Thank you to my mom, for her warm and motherly concern, I know the sweet heart from which is springs -- and thank you to my dear Viola friend for taking the time out of your day to write to me, for seeing me and appreciating me.

And I don't think I'm done being open and raw. I think I'm only just beginning.